Engaging in self-validation is an important aspect of building self-esteem and maintaining emotional well-being. It involves recognizing and accepting your own thoughts, feelings, and accomplishments without seeking external validation from others. Here are some steps you can take to engage in self-validation:


Acknowledge your emotions:

Start by acknowledging and accepting your emotions without judgment. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, or frustration. Remind yourself that your emotions are valid and a natural part of being human.


Identify your strengths and achievements:

Take time to reflect on your personal strengths, skills, and accomplishments. Make a list of your achievements, both big and small, and recognize the effort and dedication you put into them. Celebrate your successes and acknowledge the progress you’ve made.


Challenge self-critical thoughts:

Pay attention to any negative or self-critical thoughts that arise in your mind. Instead of automatically accepting them as true, challenge them and look for evidence that contradicts them. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges.


Practice self-care:

Engaging in self-care activities can help you nurture self-validation. Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. This might include hobbies, exercise, spending time in nature, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in creative pursuits.


Set realistic expectations:

Avoid setting high standards for yourself. Instead, set realistic and achievable goals that align with your values and interests. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way.


Trust your intuition:

Learn to trust your own instincts and intuition. Pay attention to your gut feelings and inner wisdom when making decisions or navigating life’s challenges. Trust that you have the ability to make sound choices and learn from any mistakes you may encounter.


Surround yourself with supportive people:

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Seek out relationships and friendships that are based on mutual respect, encouragement, and understanding. Having a supportive network can reinforce your self-validation and provide a positive environment for personal growth.


Remember that self-validation is an ongoing process. Be patient with yourself and practice these steps regularly. Over time, you can strengthen your sense of self-worth and become more resilient in the face of external criticism or validation-seeking behaviours.


-Tracy Miles

Registered Psychotherapist, Author

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